


"I'm gonna kill you"

by Kiliandra



Category: Actor RPF, Hannibal (TV) RPF
Genre: Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Madancy, Romance, Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-03 05:44:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5278916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiliandra/pseuds/Kiliandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mads went for a convention and it was very nice experience... until he got sick. Hugh is really upset, but what's the true nature of this fuss?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - Nothing here is real... Except things they are.  
> Everything else is a result of my wicked imagination.

It was well after 10pm when he arrived at his hotel. Autograph session protracted badly, in addition someone was constantly hovering behind his back, even when he tried to catch five minutes break.

_Praise be to God they didn’t peep at him in the loo._

Of course, neither of this situations were dangerous. Even these two girls who gripped his ass during photo shoots, weren’t bad looking, so he didn't fuss over it. In revenge he stared at their boobs.

He had chilled beer in his mini-bar. He knew, however, that if he will drink it now, he will fall asleep in his pants on the chair. He groaned pitifully and rose to his feet, dropping his blue sweatshirt on the floor. Moment later, his pants followed, and he went to the bathroom. He had to wash down scent of 300 people that have touched him today. As soon as he crossed the doorstep of the bathroom, he triggered the speakers and some local radio was set in motion. An old Doors’ song summoned a tired smile to his face. Mads looked in the mirror. He looked almost normal. Except, his eyes were red. Weakness below his knees gave him the clear signal, that without Aspirin he won’t last another day. He didn’t need an infection. _Darn air-con in planes. You only had to go through the board, and it was in the bag, that you got yourself an international flu. This time, the French one._

He took off his undies and turned on hot water, which streamed at his hair and back in a second. As he soaped, he felt a slight pain in the wrist. Nearly five hours of autographs took their toll. Tomorrow morning won’t be better at all. Another 200 people.

“Hello.”  
“How are you?”  
“Where are you from?”

Another 200 handshakes. Sweaty hands. Floating in the room, the morning scent of hangovers. And dreamy glances, fastened eyes fixed on his mouth. Very few of them had the courage to look him in the eye, as if they would dissolve by this form of contact. Once again the same inscription. _“Bon appétit”. “Eat the rude”._ Over and over again.

He closed his eyes and let the water flow. He had to call Hanne and announce that he wasn’t devoured. He was curious if Kacey and Lara stayed in the bar, as planned. They could afford it. Aaron texted him, before Mads got to the hotel, that they fled even from McDonalds. There were women everywhere and every single one of them wished to be near them.

He needed some sleep.

He came out from the shower wrapped in a towel. There was some British TV Show on screen and he let it run. He pulled a sweatshirt from the closet, then opened the window and sat down beside it with a cigarette in his teeth. He won’t be going down just to smoke. The first inhale and he felt better. The cold breath of air, made him zip his shirt and he put a hood on his head. His hair was still wet. Tomorrow he will regret it. Carefully, he put the butt on the windowsill and reached for the phone on the bed. Two missed calls. Hanne. And Hugh. He winced, slightly puzzled. Dancy didn’t call him for few days.

He puffed again and pressed Hugh’s face on the screen to call him.

“Hi, Dancy, what's up?”

“I'm gonna kill you,” came the answer.

“Excuse me? Are you quite all right, darling?”

“I'm gonna kill you. And it will be as painful as possible, you bastard!”Mads blinked gobsmacked, didn’t know how to answer. “It was Hugh who started the kiss?! Hugh!! You fucking, lying bastard!,” shouted Dancy. 

Mads started to laugh. 

“So you got yourself a twitter, huh? You know, there's this girl who live tweeted whole panel today...”

“Oh, I know and I'm gonna kill you.“ It was Hugh... I don't know why he keeps showing me these things... but apparently I'm quite good at it.” You cunt.”

Mads realized that the fag, which was left on his window’s ledge, had burned out, so he flicked his fingers, throwing it through the window. He closed it and took a beer from the fridge.

“I told you to come here with me. I don't see a reason why I should take all of it by myself. You said…“

“I know what I've said. That doesn't give you the right to mock.“

“I didn't mock. I just teased them a little.”

“Dick.”

Mads smiled and took a sip of beer. 

“If you will be rude, I can be very obscene tomorrow. You know, I have whole hour to make foul of you.”

“You wouldn't dare.”  
“Oh, I would, darling. It's a sweat revenge for abandoning me here.”

“That bad, huh?” There was a sudden change in Hugh’s voice.

“I can’t feel my wrist today. I'm dizzy. And I made an idiot of myself. I didn't know how to name mammy-horse,” said Mads.

“Horse what?,” asked Dancy.

“Mommy?”

“You mean mummy?”

“No. Mammy. Like mother.”

“Ah, mare.”

“What?”

“Yeah, difficult English word... don't bother.” Hugh was smiling and Mads could hear that in his voice.

“Dick.”

Now it was Hugh, who started to laugh. Mads couldn’t resist and smiled back. 

“Can you promise me something? Can you be here next time?”

“There won't be next time. Tickets didn't sell out,” said Dancy. “So I’ve heard,” he added almost immediately.

“I don't know what that even means, but I spent five hours on the photo session. As far as I know, I'm hugged for my whole life. And tomorrow’s schedule doesn't look better.”

“So what? You think they will want another con?”

“Fannibals for sure. And Sean? He is a golddigger. So, yeah. They will want another con. Are you in it?”

“I don't know. You know I don't...“

“Pull yourself together, Hugh. It’s only two days and one evening, but that doesn't even count. You'll come, drink a few beers and go to your hotel. I can even buy you those beers.”

“Fuck you. It will be after DVD... They will want us to kiss... Or speak about it.”

“Was it really that bad?”

“You know what I mean.“

“No, darling. Explain. I'm a dumb Dane.”

“And I'm abstemious Englishman. What would you do, if they asked you to kiss me for the photo session?”

“I can do it.”

“I bet you can.”

“If it's so frustrating, you can add this to your contract. No bum touching, no staying at the parties, no kissing Mads.”

“You're a stubborn old prick.”

“And you are delightful when you're angry.” There was a silence for few seconds, before Dancy start speaking again.

“I miss you.” The sudden change in Hugh’s voice made Mads shiver. He felt exactly the same.

“I'm living in your city. It was you who escaped to the US,” he answered. 

“You're not living in my city. You're working there. I'm trying to work too, you know.”

“Come work in Denmark.”

“Why?”

“So I can kiss you,” teased Mads.

“Stop. We decided on it. We won't do it again.”

“You decided. Without my contribution.”

“Mads...”

“I have to go. Someone else's trying to call. Bye.”

Mads hung up. He reached for the pack of fags and immediately lit another cigarette, and opened a window, in order to avoid problems with fire alarm.

_Idiot._

A deep breath inhaled to let the smoke permeate every inch of his lungs.

He had an enormous urge to go on stage and strip Hugh of the remnants of his dignity during tomorrow’s Q&A.

Another breath and he felt as nicotine do its job. His heart rate slowly returned to normal.

The cool air made the glow of his cig seem brighter.

He knew why Hugh didn’t want to kiss in front of cameras. He also preferred to kiss him in the comfort of his own bedroom. Or not to kiss at all. It would be probably wiser. Because even one thought about those lips made him hard. He would have to wear some loose pants to hide it. But Hugh with these sophisticated, tailor-made suits... He wouldn’t be able to hide it.

Mads licked his lips and puffed once again. With the fag in his teeth he opened the fridge. He was sure, that right now he needs another beer. The first one disappeared magically. Beer had an ability to recover his senses. Well, maybe not really senses, but perspective with certainty.

A short buzzing sound coming from his bed informed him about a new message. He took a sip of beer and picked up the phone.

 **“You’ve won. You can tell this guy, that I will be there next year. But say one more word about that kiss tomorrow, and I promise, I will humiliate you in front of the entire congregation of those lunatics.”**  
Mads smiled.

He didn’t have any intention to reveal anything more. He knew, that if he did say another word, Dancy would skin him alive. Besides, his daughter also has twitter, and last thing she should read, were posts about him having fun with Uncle Hugh. Mads winced. Even in his mind that sentence sounded obscene.

Another puff and a sip of beer.

He should call Hanne.

 **“What are you wearing?,”** he sends instead and banged himself in the head.

**"How much have you drunk today?"**

Mads growled. Because he forgot about the time difference, doesn’t mean that this snot had the right to insult him. He wasn’t some sort of an alcoholic. He asked such questions sober. He wanted to give some sassy answer, but his mind didn’t suggest him any repartee. He walked over to the window and threw out another cigarette butt. Surprisingly, he was still able to see the stars, even though it was almost center of the city. For a moment, he looked at blinking light on the dark blue sky in hope, that it will turn out to be a falling star. The silvery flicker died away and in its place appeared a red one. The plane.

_There won’t be any miracles today._

He closed the window and wrapped himself tightly in his hoodie. He rooted for Aspirin in his lumber. He felt really weak and took a skeptical look at the bottle of beer, still in his hand and he winced. It wasn’t the best idea to mix Aspirin and lager.

_Kitchen unit. Glass. Water._

He turned off the TV. That continuous blabbermouth was beginning to annoy him. 

He swallowed two tablets and threw himself on the bed. 

_Hanne._

**“I’m knackered. I think I’ve got some crud. Besides, surprisingly bearable.”**

**“Take meds. See you on Friday?”**

**„Done. If nothing thwarts my plans, plane at 2pm.”**

**“Don’t miss it. I’ll make dinner.”**

They exchanged a few messages and Mads eventually put away his phone on the locker. 

He tangled in the covers and closed his eyes, wanting to sail to some fantasy land. He was already on the very edge of sleep, when his phone buzzed once again. 

**"The suit."**

He read the text and not really understanding the message, tapped out his response. 

**"I gave to the laundry."**

He closed his eyes and covered his head with duvet. He was sick. Even the lights outside the window drove him crazy... He shouldn’t walk only in a shirt in the French rain.

His phone began to hum “Englishman in New York” and he knew that the only way to silent Sting’s old hit was to answer. Mads turned on the speakerphone. 

"What do you want, Dancy?" 

"How wasted you are?" The mocking voice made him angry.

“Fuck you. I’ve got bloody French feber.“

“What?”

“Feber* … Fever? Influenza. Happy?”

“Shit. No. Of course I’m not happy. Need some meds?”

“I’ve got it, mammy, thank you.”

“So you’re not angry?,” asked Hugh.

“I’m fucking tired. I feel like shit. And I need you here,” answered Mads.

“You really want to drag me into this madness?”

“Yeah.” Mads closed his eyes as he spoke.

“Are they nice?,” asked Hugh.

“They are super nice. And they are freaking out when I’m around. I saw few hyperventilating…”

“And guys?”

“Six or seven. And one who looked like you. Like Will. Dressed as.”

“You mean cosplaying as me?”

“You, me, Alana, there was lots of Alana’s, and Chilton’s. Raul would be more that happy. And I’ve got a book. Fanart. That what they called it? Pretty nice thing. Aaron was thrilled. And it’s not my fault. They started in the morning with this… “every time you see Will sweating, it’s actually Mads drooling all over Hugh… And the camera wasn’t even on them…” they went completely nuts on their panel. They did Titanic.”

“What?”

“Titanic. I saw it later. The whole room was crying with laughter.” 

“That’s why I’m not sure...”

“You’ve promised,” reminded Mads. “You are going. And don’t worry. There is no point to do that. I did worry, and it was completely unnecessary.“

“Stupid questions?”

“Mostly not,” answered Mads slowly. His brain didn’t want to cooperate with him anymore. He felt a sudden urge to fall asleep, but tried to fight it.

“Care to explain?”

“Something ‘bout dog’s breed. I told them: Bulldog.”

“They asked you what kind of dog would you be?”

“They ask about hund, that Will and Hannibal would have one dag. And about Katie. They ask about the baby… so jeg fortalte dem, that Will and Hannibal escaped with Alana’s son, and they have a dog, called Ence-something, and they will jagt sammen.”*

“Mads.”

“Hvad…”*

“Shut up, and go to sleep. You are babbling.”

Mads poked out his tongue and then realized that Hugh couldn’t see him.

“Yeah. Probably. God nat*, darling.”

“Night,” he heard.

Complete, absurd malaise drew him into the darkness. Mads didn’t bother anymore and fell asleep almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *  
> 1 fever  
> 2 dog  
> 3 day  
> 4 I told them  
> 5 hunt together  
> 6 what  
> 7 good night


	2. It's all about that kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day when the story goes backward to the point when... well, you will figure this out.

“Ready?” Dancy’s gleaming eyes stared at him with arousal.

“Yeah, let's go with this shit.” Mads smiled in response.

“What you two are up to?” Richard's curious glance was jumping between them.

“Hugh figured out something few days ago...”

“And?” Richard looked at them curiously.

“Oh, you will see,” said Dancy and smiled widely. 

“C'mon boys. Let's get ready,” someone shouted behind them.

The lights were dimmed, the crew were on their spots. Someone approached him to fix his makeup. Richard was laid down on the ground. Hugh was kneeling, gasping and Mads began to giggle. He couldn't do it. The single thought that he had to kiss this dork was unnerving. 

“Find it amusing?” It was Richard, still not sure what will happen.

“Shut up. I’ve just bitten through your throat”.

“Doesn't matter. I AM THE DRAGON!” rattled Richard in very low, guttural voice, as if come from his viscera. _Fuck, this guy was good._

Mads tried to compose himself. He closed his eyes and stopped breathing for moment. _Night sky. Moon. Wind. Blood. Terrible gunshot in his abdomen. Pain._ He should be in pain... but adrenaline “is rushing thru his veins”, so no visible signs of pain. Heavy breath and maybe excitement. _He just saved his little puppy, his Will Graham, the light of his life._ Mads opened his eyes and inhaled deeply. He looked at Bryan and nodded.

“Action.“

Hugh was kneeling. Hand covered in red goo stretched out in his direction. Hannibal felt excitement. _This schizophrenic, who wanted to hurt his Will, won’t never lay a hand on him._

“It really does look black in the moonlight.”

Hugh looked ridiculous, but Will looked beautiful. Evidence of their unbreakable bond was all over his body. _Blood. The very fluid responsible for life itself._ Hannibal wanted to taste it.

Hannibal needed Will in his arms. The need was so strong that he grabbed the outstretched hand to help Will to stand up.

“See. This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.”

Will was looking in Hannibal’s eyes with pure astonishment. His chest was moving fast. His breath was uneven. Hugh looked like a porn star right then. Lust and passion all over his face and Mads couldn’t take eyes off him.

“It’s beautiful.”

Mads knew what that meant. What it supposed to mean, according to the scenario, but the words sounded like they were about something different. Hugh’s eyes fixed on him. And Mads could feel Hannibal's boundaries shattering apart. Every single remainder of his internal wall was disappearing and Hannibal was nothing but love right now. _His Will embraced him, fully accepted him; fully accepted himself._ Hannibal wanted this beautiful, dark creature to be in his arms forever. _Will belongs with him. They both belong with each other._

Will's breath was brushing his skin. His arms were two burning ropes that bound them tightly. His cheek soft and sticky, but his eyes, those dark lustful eyes... Hannibal couldn’t breathe. _Will was his oxygen, without him he would suffocate. Life itself was given to him through that breath. Soft skin had barely touched his lips. A hot gasp caressed his senses. He was done. He was dead. He didn't dare to respond. But Will knows him. He known exactly everything and he pushed harder to kiss him. The pain in Hannibal’s abdomen was irrelevant. This was his cure. Their lips were one. He was melting, he was drowning, he was falling._

“Cut!”

Giggle from the ground. Dead dragon. Mads blinked twice, still in character. He couldn’t shake off this unsettling feeling out of his chest.

“Fuck, I thought you would never end.” More words. Richard on his feet, standing near them, smiling.

They are no longer connected. Hugh loosened his hold and Mads felt empty. He craved more. Cold air was brushing his hair and he heard some noises. He blinked once again to become Mikkelsen, not Lecter. 

“Was it good?” It was first thing, that came to his mind. 

He was heading towards Bryan, smiling innocently. Fuller, still shocked, was looking with ravishment on his little screen.

“Show me.” Hugh was smiling, standing right behind him.

“Is it enough? Tell us, Bryan. We thought that we can go further,” asked Mads.

Bryan smiled.

“It was hot. It was awesome.”

“C'mon, show us,” said Richard.

And Bryan did. 

It's strange looking at yourself when you have to mimic lust. You look ridiculous. Super dumb. Richard was immediately on their side, lurking for better view.

“The look on his face,” mocked Dancy. “I couldn't...” Hugh started to laugh. Mads didn't. The moment Hugh's lips touched his own on the screen, his dick twitched. _What the fuck?_ He smiled to cover his confusion.

“We can do better,” said Mads. He could. He was sure about it. Dancy smiled towards him.

“Let's go. I will suck every drop of sanity from Hannibal's body,” teased the Englishman.

Another twitch.

“I have to pee,” said Mads.

He needed a break. He needed a beer. Hannibal was in love with Will. He wasn't in love with Hugh Dancy. This was going too deep into him.

And then he realized how good it was for this scene. He had to think about it as a game. He had to do the same to Dancy. Take him on edge and make him forget the rules. That was it.

A few minutes later, perfectly composed, he was standing on the edge of the bluff. Hannibal was breathing heavily. Will reached for his hand. Hannibal was there for Will. Now it was Mads’ time to act. Will smitten, filled with excitement. Hannibal, accepting him in his arms, giving him asylum, support and untroubled, unconditional love. Every single one of Hannibal’s breaths was for Will. Every single one of Will’s breaths was Hannibal’s next one. His whole world was locked in Will’s arms. Graham’s heartbeat was soothing music.

“It’s beautiful.” 

Will’s whisper. 

His head is slowly heaving, his greenish eyes piercing him inside out. Absolute adoration in Hugh’s gaze and Mads is feeling this strange impulse in his underbelly. He doesn’t hide it. At this absurdly close range he can see Englishman’s pupils dilate. Hugh’s lips approach his own once again. This time Hannibal will accept the kiss. He will accept Will and everything that goes with it.

Hugh’s lips are brushing his own and Mads drifts away. The sensation is too strong. Hannibal gets greedy. Demanding. Completely lost. He feels passion, he feels thrills, he feels Hugh’s hardening dick on his thigh. Now he has won. He won’t be the one looking ridiculous on the footage this time.

“Cut!”

“Can you two stop this?” They both take a step back and look at Bryan, puzzled. He was nothing but frustration at the moment. A brief glance at Richard and they started laughing. He was still on the ground, eyes closed.

“I'm done. I need sex right now. I need Lee,” said Richard, still refusing to open his eyes.

“Was it better?,” asked Mads.

Hugh wasn’t so eager to run towards screen this time. But Mads was.

“And who is looking stupid right now?,” Mads stuck out his tongue at Hugh.

“Fuck you,” was the only answer Dancy gave him. Mads smiled. He knew how to kiss the soul out of any living creature. 

“I want to see more. You are a fucking machine.” Richard was standing right beside him. His cheeks a little flushed with excitement. Blue eyes seemed black in this lighting. 

“Once again?” teased Mads towards Hugh. Bryan said something about characters, but they didn't listen him at all. The way Hugh looked at him... He was angry and hot as hell. Mads smiled, knowing that the next shoot will be nothing but a kiss fight.

And it was. Hugh did his best. Mads was on edge. But he did exactly the same. He drove Hugh crazy. They were gentle. They were focused. They were aware of each other’s reactions. So when they lips finally met, after this whole babbling about beauty of murder, they were horny. But when he felt arms entwining around his shoulders, he caught that the game was too hazardous. That he went too deep. He was enjoying himself, but more important, he was enjoying Hugh's reactions too much. This was dangerous. This was wrong. Very, very wrong. A little gasp and Hugh was nothing but flame in his arms. And there was another ”cut”.

Hugh ran away almost instantly from set.

Bryan looked at Mads with surprise.

“Gimme five.”

He took his fags and went to the loo. He knew Hugh would be there.

“Fancy a fag?” He asked through a closed door.

Silence.

“Or maybe a cool beer?”

Still nothing.

“Maybe a shag then?”

“Fuck you.”

Well, at least it was some kind of response. Door opened wide almost instantly and Hugh was standing there, staring at him, completely in a mess.

“What have you done?”

“I won. You started this.” Mads narrowed his eyes.

“I hate you.”

“Liar.” Mads' grin went wider. “Just let it go. It's normal.”

“I want to fuck you right now, right here. How is it normal?”

“I'm irresistible.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me,” said Mads and moved fast. He pushed Hugh to the wall and started kissing him. Dancy didn't complain. He kissed him back with anger, with teeth, with a growl in his throat. Mads shivered. Now, he really did want to fuck him.

A few seconds later there were inside the bathroom, door locked. He was held by Hugh. Dancy’s hand was on Mads’ throat and he moaned when Mads put his hand on Hugh's hip. He moved slightly in anticipation and Mads went further. He undid the zip and could feel the smell of lust. Hugh's cock was throbbing, aching for contact. Mads unzipped his own trousers and took out his own dick. He led Dancy’s hand to his own cock and grabbed Hugh's. The hot skin under his fingers was delicate, soft and humid with pre-come. Mads started to jerk him, pushing himself harder against his palms. And then Hugh responded. He started moving his fingers up and down along his cock, and Mads couldn't help but whine for more. He did the same to Hugh. He kissed him. Bit him. Made him come in a few moves of his fingers. Hugh shut his eyes, babbling something about hate. Mads came few seconds later, when Hugh's tongue broke into his mouth again and his hand on Mads' cock speeded up.

“And goodbye to a beautiful friendship,” murmured Hugh.

Mads still gasping for breath, opened his eyes and looked in perfectly grey irises.

“Can you just shut up for one second?,” said Mads.

It wasn't a question. It was an order. And Hugh followed. Mads kissed him gently and Hugh closed his eyes. His arms were now around Mads shoulders. He looked at Dancy with calm smile for a while, before he kissed him gently once again.

“Now, we have to fix you.” He took some toilet paper and handed it to Hugh. He smiled. 

“You are completely fucked up.”

“Said the sainted one here,” answered Mads. “Now, darling, do you want that fag?”

“It's actually quite interesting idea.” Hugh smiled faintly.

He was silent when he took a cig, and closed his eyes for a moment. Mads set alight another one.

“We should probably back to work in a while.”

“I won't do it again.”

“Drag me into challenge?”

“Kiss you.”

“Why?” Mads was smiling at him seductively. 

“Why we shouldn't? I can give you tons of reasons. For both sides of this coin.”

“But?,” asked Mads. 

“But I refuse to even think about it.”

“You will.” Mads was smiling. Warm, caring smile.

“Shut up. I hate you. I will. Of course I will. Not now. Now, I'm fucked up! I'm confused to the point I don't even...” 

“Shhh, darling... stop speaking,” said Mads quietly. “I'll check the set. You... pull yourself together."

And then he left. He went on set with dorky smile on his face.

Richard was sitting on Bryan's chair in front of the little screen looking at footage. Bryan wasn't nearby.

“It's done. He said that it was all he needed,” said Armitage and smiled. “Nice work.”

“I must clean this mess,” said Mads pointing at his wardrobe. Richard smirked.

“If you say so.”

Mads didn't respond to it. He rushed to the loo once again.

“Hugh?”

Silence again. 

“Hugh, are you... No, of course you aren’t. You’ve run away... It’s all you ever do. Lie and hide.” He murmured and walked away.

He should take a shower. He should change into something normal.

He should give him some space.

He was angry. It wasn’t fair. Why the hell, it was him who should be responsible?! Why was it always his fault? 

“Fuck this.”

He turned away and went to his trailer.

He lost track of time. Water washed out the anger. Washed out confusion. Washed out the guilt. Only thing that water couldn’t clean was his memory. 

But he knew what could help.

A beer.

Or five.


	3. Chapter 3

The harsh tone of his alarm woke him up violently. He yawned, stretched out and swore. His whole body was aching. He couldn’t be more aware of every single muscle in his body if he were dancing the whole night. 

He checked his mobile.

He got two messages around 4 am.

**“I'm sorry. I was a dick. I went to audition, and it didn't go well. Besides you are with them again. I want to be there too. I'm jelly.”**

**“I'm also pretty drunk. I want...to sink my teeth into your skin to touch your soul. How fucked up am I?”**

Mads pushed the right button instantly. 

“Yeah?” A sleepy voice.

“Hi, darling.”

“Stop calling me that, you idiot. I'm not...”

“Kære...* you are.” Mads smiled when he heard the gasp.

“What time is it there?,” asked Hugh with sleepy voice.

“Morning.”

“Is it still Sunday?”

“Unluckily, yes. I have to work today, you know.”

“I have to... sleep. I don’t have any work. No one wants me,” sighed Hugh. ”Are you feeling better? I was worried yesterday.”

“Worse,” answered Mads.

“Shit.”

“I will manage. I wanted to be sure if I really can tell Sean that you are interested in the next con.”

“If it will be Hannibal only. And I want Aaron and Scott there too. Tell them that. I want company, so I don't have to stay sober.”

“Don't worry. You won't. I'll take care of you.”

“Take care of yourself. Take some meds. And don't take pills with beer.”

“I'm not stupid, you know.” 

“I sometimes doubt it, deeply.” Hugh was smiling, when he said that.

“Night, darling. I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

“Night.”

Mads hung up and closed his eyes for brief second. His mind was more clear, but his body was against him. This will be a very difficult day.

The phone on his bedside table rang quietly a few times. 

“Yeah?”

“Good morning, sir. Room service. You ordered a wakeup call,” said the very polite voice with a perfect British accent.

“Did I?” Mads didn’t remember a thing.

“It's 7.30. We were supposed to wake you up. Do you need something else?” 

Mads blinked. He didn't order anything. Neither wakeup call, nor breakfast.

“Do you have some painkillers? Paracetamol maybe? Or something stronger? I think I’ve got a flu.”

“Yes, we have some. Someone will bring it to your room. Can we do anything else?”

“Black coffee and a sandwich will be great. With ham or cheese. Whatever actually.”

“At your service,” said the voice.

Mads whined, trying to raise his ass out of bed. He was sweaty and sticky. He had to have a fever last night. He took a clean towel from the closet and moved towards bathroom.

He managed to get out of the shower, when he heard a knock.

“Room service.”

Luckily it wasn’t some strange surprise, and he saw nice lady with a big tray on wheels.

Breakfast. Some anti-hangover meds, Paracetamol and throat pills. He got a huge plate with little sandwiches on it, a big pot of coffee, three donuts and a tiny jar of honey. He wondered why the hell, they gave him honey for coffee? He shrugged in conclusion. _What a screwed up nation._

He took the tray, said “thanks” and shut the door. He got dressed, took two pills and a piece of sandwich. It was really tasty. Hot, black coffee woke him up completely.

A few minutes later he received another call. His driver was waiting for him downstairs. Mads put on his jacket and grabbed another sandwich as he was heading towards the door. 

#

 

“…So he became the ultimate Hannibal for me…” He heard Sean's voice, when he announced him.

“Can you say it again? I was in the toilet and didn't heard a word.” Mads walked on stage, smiling. 

Cheers, squeals and applause filled the room. He started his speech. People were moved. He realized that Kacey cried and Lara followed her footsteps. He was barely on his feet. He felt dizzy and sweaty. But he was touched as well. Fannibals were so nice and kind. And questions weren't even dumb today... besides one about flowers... _Who, the fuck, knows anything about flowers?_

Scott looked at him with concern when they finally left the stage. He explained to them how badly he felt. He had to look like shit, if even Aaron wasn't mocking him. Katie offered some advice, but he didn’t really care. His only agenda was to come back to his hotel and lay down. They arranged some meeting for tomorrow, then he hugged everyone and left the building. 

“What did you just do?,” he asked, when his chauffeur drove away from the hotel with a screech of tires, almost hitting someone.

“You told me to hurry,” answered the guy insolently.

“But not to run over people!”

“They shouldn’t stand in the way like piles,” snapped the driver. That was it.

“Stop the car.”

“What?”

“Stop it. You are fired,” said Mads.

The moron turned aside and stopped the car. Mads got out slamming the door, cursing. His transport disappeared almost instantly, leaving him in the middle of nowhere. 

Mads looked around in search of some bus stop. Moment later, he was already heading towards the airport. There should be some taxi stand.

He got to his hotel an hour later than he planned, and without any second thought he fell on his bed, removing only the jacket from his back. A few seconds later he drifted into slumber.

###

 

“I didn’t run away.” He heard angry voice at the door of his trailer. “It’s not what I do, ever. I don’t hide. And for fuck’s sake I didn’t lie to you!” 

Mads blinked. Hugh, still in dirty clothes, was standing in front of him, really pissed. Mads didn’t say a word. He opened his little fridge and grabbed two beers. He handed one to Dancy, opened the second one and took a sip of beer. Hugh, however, set aside the bottle on the dresser top and took another step towards Mads.

“What? Now you have nothing to say?,” provoked Hugh. Mads snorted.

“Listen, darling. I have nothing to explain. I didn’t do anything wrong. I haven’t forced you to…”

“We did. We did something wrong,” interrupted Hugh.

“It’s not my fault that you think this way. I didn’t do anything you didn’t. I’m not the only one to blame. If you have urge to blame someone – look in the mirror. But don’t you dare blame me for your sexual anxiety.”

“I don’t have open marriage, unlike you,” snapped Dancy.

“That’s also not my fault.”

Hugh snorted.

“Dick.”

Mads took few sips from the bottle and looked at Hugh with anger.

“How long have we known each other? 12 – 13 years? It’s not your first time cheating, so what the hell is going on? Because, call me stupid if you like, I don’t understand what’s your problem.”

“My problem?” Hugh jumped at Mads’ direction and poked him in the chest with his finger. “You fucking don’t care what we just did!”

Mads grabbed his finger, and immobilized Hugh’s palm with his own.

“You’re unbelievably stupid, Dancy. I admit that I’ve got confused during this scene. I went too deep. And I was nothing but lust. But it was your eyes that gave me chills, not Will’s. And I do care. I care about you. If you want to treat me as the mistake of a lifetime, that’s your call. But don’t you dare blame me for your twitching dick.”

Mads released him and stepped away.

“Don’t you dare turn away on me!,” hissed Hugh and grabbed Mads’ elbow, drawing him back. In a split second his arms were around Mads shoulders. He stared at him blankly.

Mads waited for few heartbeats, but Dancy didn’t move. He was about to turn around and leave his own trailer, when Dancy swallowed.

“Can I kiss you?,” whispered Hugh finally.

“Why?”

“I need to.”

Mads shrugged and kissed him slowly. Hugh murmured something and Mads stopped.

“Don’t. Don’t stop,” whined Dancy. Hugh’s fingers were on his face. Touching his lips, his jaws, his cheek. “I don’t want you to stop. I want go further.”

“I’m not sure if I want it,” said Mads quietly. Hugh looked at him with wariness.

“I’m a dick,” he admitted. 

“Yes,” confirmed Mads.

“But I’m not using you.”

“You don’t know what you want, either.”

“I know exactly what I want,” said Dancy.

“Hugh… You didn’t even clean yourself yet. How am I suppose to know that you won’t be screaming at me again in 15 minutes?”

Hugh closed his eyes and gasped.

“Can I have a shower here? I don’t want to leave. We need to talk.”

“Like adults?”

”Yes,” said Hugh seriously. “Like adults.” Mads nodded and Hugh headed straight to Mads’ little bathroom.

 

###

 

A quiet knock forced him to return to reality. He opened his eyes. It was already dark outside the window.

“Room service.” 

“I don't need cleaning right now,” he said, still barely consciousness.

“We have a letter for you, Mr. Mikkelsen,” said the strange voice.

“Fuck you,” he murmured, but got up anyway.

“I didn’t expected anything…,” he said and opened the door. It wasn't room service. It was Hugh. Mads froze for few seconds. 

“Wow. I just spent last 8 hours in a plane, but you really look like shit,” said Dancy.

“I’m sorry, did I offend your sense of beauty?” answered Mads, letting him in. Hugh looked around with visible disgust on his features. Mads dropped himself on bed again.

“Get up. I'm taking you home,” said Hugh.

“I'm not going to fly to Denmark now, are you out of your mind?” 

Hugh sighed and headed in the direction of cabinet, taking out Mads’ bag from it. 

“Do you have something in the safe? Or will it be enough that I put the entire mess into your bag?”

“What the hell are you doing?” Mads propped himself up on his elbows, watching Hugh while he was throwing his clothes into the black bag.

“I'm packing for you. I'm taking you home. To my home. You’re gonna eat something more than coffee and fags. And you’re gonna take some decent meds.”

“You came here to cure me?”

“I came here to take care of you, you foolish, stubborn wanker.”

“Where is "mine Danish knight"?”

“I don't see any knight here. Only a rumpled hobo. Get up,” ordered Hugh and went to the bathroom to collect the rest of Mads' things. He was gentler when he came back to the room. “Come on, baby. Let's get you out of here,” he told with calm voice, looking at Mads with a worried expression.

“I don't understand. You should be in New York.”

“I couldn't stay there. Come on, get up, darling.”

“So, I _am_ your darling after all?” Mads smiled sheepishly.

“You are a moron,” answered Hugh. Mads smiled and got up. 

“Can I get a kiss at least?”

“You can.” Hugh smiled. „When you’ll prove yourself a good boy and eat a dinner. And you have to stop sneezing at the whole world.”

Mads bit a lower lip slightly.

“Even if I ask nicely? I promise to eat whatever you give me. I’ll even take a shower if you want me to. Can I get a kiss before Winter comes?”

Hugh started to laugh.

“Stubborn, old jackass,” he murmured under his breath and leaned over the bed on which Mads was still sitting and kissed him gently on his forehead.

“Consider this as an advance payment. The rest you will get, if you accomplish your tasks.”

“Dick.”

“Yeah. But you like it.”

 

###

 

Mads watched the local news when Hugh finally came out of the bathroom, wrapped only in towel.

“Sorry, I wasn't thinking straight,” he said, embarrassed. “And I didn’t bring anything with me to change.”

“Wanna borrow my blouse? Or t-shirt?”

“Nah, I'll call my assistant to bring me something.”

“Don’t be silly.” Mads gets up and went to his case. He took out a pair of adidas trousers, black t-shirt and red blouse with zipper, and handed them to Hugh.

Dancy dressed himself and sat on the corner of a couch. He felt ridiculous in the outfit, but Mads seemed not bothered by his appearance. 

“I'm sorry,” said Hugh, finally. Mads looked at him, intrigued. “I overreacted. I wasn't mad at you. I... feel stupid.”

“Will you be ok?” Mads’ curious glance was concentrated on Hugh.

“I think so. Are you?,” asked Dancy.

“I am.”

“Where do we stand?”

Mads shrugged.

“I don't know. I don't know what you want from me. Do you want to forget about it or do you want to have more sex with me?”

“You are just open to whatever I will decide?” Hugh was shocked.

“No. I won't let you push me around, like you tried to moments ago,” declared Mads.

“I said I'm sorry. Fuck.” Hugh lowered his head, clenching his fists. 

“I can fuck you. I like the idea,” said Mads, knowing that Dancy won’t say anything more. “But I know how to deal with betrayal. Do you?”

“Like you said: it wasn't my first...” He didn’t even look him in the eyes.

“But?” asked Mads.

“Fuck. I'm not stupid or pathetic. But I don't want to lose you, because of some drama.”

“I hardly create dramas because of sex.” Mads smiled. Hugh looked at him and bit his lower lip.

“It won't be just sex. We are working together. We are close to each other.”

“Affair - use this word you are so afraid of. The word won't bite you,” said Mads.

“I'm not afraid of words. I'm worried about emotions that could develop from this situation. Now is just awkward. I don't want for either of us to suffer.”

“Are you looking for excuses to not to fuck me, or are you waiting for me to convince you that it's a good idea?”

“Fuck, Mads! Do you have to be such a dick?”

“I'm being honest. With you, and with myself. I told you, I would like to fuck you. If I get involved emotionally, that's ok. I already care about you. I can handle this hormonal fuss that comes around with sex. But I don't want to be some training ground. I don't want to hear in a week that it’s all my fault. That I tricked you, or used you. So if you are not sure what to do or think, just let it boil in your head for a while. And then let me know. I won't cause dramas. I won't be offended, if you will decide that it's too much for you,” explained Mads.

“You see? Even now you're so bloody reasonable. As if this thing never happened.”

“But I've kissed you. You blow off on my hand. I’ve liked it and you’ve liked it too, if I recall correctly.” Hugh gasped, and looked at Mads perplexed.

“Can I...? No... sorry.”

Mads looked at him and smiled.

“Kiss or hug?”

He didn't have to ask about reasons. He just knew. Hugh rose to his feet and stood in front of Mads, smiling.

“Can I have both? And maybe a beer too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Kære - dear


	4. Chapter 4

The hot water relaxed him. He felt nice in the smell of bubble bath. Some rhythmic, quiet music came from behind the door with alluring scent. Hugh wasn't lying when he told him that he'd make him something to eat. In the same situation Mads would probably have ordered pizza. He heard two knocks on the door.

"Come," said Mads.

“How far, oh... I've made you something to eat,” said Hugh.

“Smells delicious.” Mads smiled. “But it's so nice here... Food can wait.”

“I'll be in the kitchen,” said Hugh hesitantly.

“Hugh.” Dancy froze, looking at him. “Thank you,” said Mads and stretched out his hand towards him. Hugh grabbed it and smiled shyly. Mads pull him closer and kissed him. Dancy closed his eyes, surrendering himself completely.

“I want you to… fuck me,” whispered Mads.

“I will, but you have to feel better.“

“Why are you so good to me? Did something happened?”

“I've missed you,” said Hugh with teary eyes.

“You stupid boy. What's going on with you?”

“Nothing. I'm perfectly fine.” He smiled really sincerely and Mads knew that it’s completely bullshit.

“I will find out, you know that?”

“Can you just... Let it go for now. Come, chine is ready. I've made you a tea, with honey... That should get you warm... “

Mads sighed. Hugh was as stubborn as a coffin nail. He won’t spell a world, if he already decided not to.

Hugh went towards door, but Mads stopped him.

“Can you help me? I have to dry myself, and I’m not sure if I am in the right mind to do it properly.”

“Teaser,” said Hugh with a smile and grabbed the big brown towel. He watched Mads emerging from the water and tried not to focus on his loins. Mads was half-hard already and Hugh failed miserably. “Hugh... I need that towel.” Mads summoned him back to earth. Hugh bit his lower lip and approached him. 

Mads was standing naked in front of this fully clothed guy in blue tight-fitting shirt and perfectly tailored pants. Hugh remembered about the towel and began to wipe Mads very slowly. Soft, warm material touched his chest and his dick twitched a little. Hugh didn’t rush, making sure that every centimeter of Mads’ skin is properly dried. Mads wanted to grab him and kiss him, but restrained himself. Dancy knelt in front of Mads and took care of his legs, moving at a snail’s pace towards his balls. When he got there, Mads was so ready for more that his dick twitched involuntarily. 

It was then when he felt warm lips on his thigh and gentle fingers on his calf. The towel fell on the floor tiles; Hugh was kissing him slowly. His tongue was teasing him. He could feel warmth of Dancy's breath on his skin, but satisfaction didn’t come. A hot, wet tongue was on his groin, when something barely touching his skin dabbed his balls. Mads gasped. Hugh looked seductively at him, and Mads had to fight with a painful urge to fuck this beautiful face. Green eyes looked at him with lust and Mads sighed once again. Hugh stood up, looked him deeply in the eyes and smiled, petting his buttock.

“Dinner is ready. Hurry up.” Mads blinked but Hugh wasn't there anymore. He dressed, and with the strange feeling in his chest, went to the kitchen.

###

Mads stood up and looked at Hugh. His eyes were almost blue. He was nervous, and his hands were shaking. Mads put his hand on Hugh's shoulder and dragged him closer. His pupils constricted in a sudden impulse of fear. Mads smiled warmly. He kissed Hugh's forehead.

“I won't abuse you. Let's have a beer.”

They sit on the couch close to each other, drinking, for the next three hours. They watched a new episode of Walking Dead and discussed some scenes for next day. They’ve already shot the last scene, but there was still three days ahead of them to do their jobs.

“I should go,” said Hugh, finally. Mads smiled mischievously. 

“If you say so.”

“You want me to stay?”

“I'm tired. I don't know what I want. But idea of holding you in my arms seems appealing,” said Mads. Hugh gasped and blushed slightly.

“Do you think they won't gossip?”

“Is it the first time we spend a night together in one trailer?” asked Mads. Hugh smiled in response and took off the red blouse he was wearing. Moments later, they were laying in the darkness. Hugh was staring at the ceiling, Mads was still smoking, speaking about some book he read recently. 

“I'm afraid,” said Hugh, completely out of context. Mads shut up and looked at him calmly.

“You would be stupid if you weren't.”

“Are you?”

“A little, yes. It isn't something I anticipated to happen,” admitted Mads. “What scares you the most?”

“The possibility of affection. But there is affection anyway. Isn’t it? It doesn't matter if I'll sleep with you or not. I will miss you terribly nonetheless. I'm angry, because of it. I don't like to feel vulnerable.”

“I want to hug you,” said Mads, and Hugh's arms were around him in a second. Dancy’s hair tickled him in the ear, but he couldn't move. He felt too good. Hugh’s breath on his skin gave him shivers. Mads started to laugh. 

“Well, this is awkward,” said Mads. “Remind me not to ask hugs from you anymore... I feel like a little girl who got lost in a forest.”

“And I am the big bad wolf?” asked Hugh relishing Mads' from his grab. He looked at him curious.

“No. Rather a tree I want to climb on.”

“Wanker.”

“Brat.”

They start to laugh.

“Let's try to get some sleep,“ said Mads.

“Sweat dreams,” said Hugh.

“Night, kære.”

“Kære?” asked Dancy. 

“It means “dick” in Danish,” said Mads with wide smile and closed his eyes.

###

They were laying in Hugh’s bedroom. Mads was tired, but after dinner he felt slightly better. Hugh was really concerned about his well-being today. Mads just wanted to stare at this beautiful face. He hadn’t seen him for so long that this situation seemed like a dream.

“I love you,“ said Hugh, interrupting his relation of convention. Mads stopped breathing, and looked at him. Dancy looked like he was about to fall to pieces.

“But?” asked Mads. He felt panic raise in his chest, didn’t know why.

Hugh looked at him seriously.

“There are no “buts”. I love you. I thought that's important that I let you know. Personally.”

“You just figure this out?” Mads was shocked.

“Yesterday,” admitted Hugh.

“You’ve flown all this way to say it?”

“I came here, because you are sick. I took Cyrus with me. He's with my parents today, I won't bring him here until you’re feeling better.”

“Hugh...” Mads felt that there is something more to it. “What have you done?”

“You were right. I'm a liar. I'm a runner. I fled. But I couldn't be with her anymore. How can I? I close my eyes, and I see your fucking face. Your fucking lips, that bloody bone structure and I can't... I'm in love with you. I want to fuck you so badly that I'm afraid I could hurt you. I don’t want to work, I want to suck you. I don't need to eat, I need to kiss you. Being there was pointless. I couldn't be there anymore.”

“You stupid little boy... what have you done…?” said Mads, barely conscious. His heart was beating so fast, he was about to faint. Hugh was lying next to him, a little ball of misery. Pale, scared and astonishingly beautiful. Mads wrapped him in his arms and kissed his hair. Hugh's fingers were digging into the skin on Mads’ back.

He couldn't say it back. Not now. He couldn't say a word. He was bloody breathless. It was important not to promise anything right now. He knew it. He had to keep himself occupied, so he kissed Dancy. He was supposed to kiss him gently, but he failed. He grabbed Hugh almost violently and pinned to the mattress. He slid his tongue inside Dancy's mouth. Everything in him screamed. He should run away, but he wasn’t able to move. He needed to melt into his body, to disappear in Hugh’s arms.

“I love you.” He heard his own words. “I love you.” He kissed Hugh once again. “I love you.” He whispered in his ear. “I love you. I…”

“I get it.” Hugh was smiling.

His pants were on the floor already, and Mads felt fingers on his bum. Burning, demanding fingers. Dancy was hard. He was hot. Hugh’s legs went wide open, and Mads knew what he wanted. Mads wanted to be inside this submissive creature; to possess him; own him in this very way.

He prepared Hugh for few minutes, barely being able to stand the waiting. Hugh was gasping, swearing, begging for his dick. 

Mads kissed him gently right before he sank into Hugh’s body. He felt his muscles tightening around his dick and saw nothing. An electrical impulse passed from his cock to his brain and turned off all circuits in his mind.

He knew he was babbling something, but he didn't care. Hugh kissed him. Hugh bit him. He heard a scream. He felt the pleasing pain in his neck. He didn't care about bruises. He was melting.

“Love you. Jeg elsker dig . I would... aldrig ... please... evigt … kære...”

He lost himself completely, coming. His world became white and sweaty. There was pain in his chest. Blackness and cold. And then he just drifted away.

###

A few days passed impassive and quiet. They didn't kiss. They didn't touch. Hugh was normal like he has always been: funny, witty, snarky. Mads almost abandoned the idea of fucking him. Hugh was childish. An affair with him would be nothing but trouble. Mads didn't want troubles. On last day in Toronto Hugh show up at his doorstep with a six-pack. Mads grinned, letting him in. They watched movies on You Tube, drinking beer and joking around. 

“I want to fuck you. Well, maybe not fuck, but I want sex. I want something,” said Hugh between one sip of beer and another, with a piece of pizza in his hand.

“You want it now, or in some undefined future?“ asked Mads.

“Now. And in the future as well. You are too good to just give up on you.” Dancy grinned with confidence. Mads didn't wait. He moved slightly on the couch and kissed Hugh.

“Wait, wait...” said Dancy and Mads growled. “My mouth is full of mushrooms.” Mads took the uneaten slice of pizza from his hand and threw it onto the floor. 

“We don't need that.” Then he took off Hugh’s shirt. “We don't need that either.” Dancy giggled and unzipped Mads jeans. 

“You look nice in it, but I bet, I’ll appreciate you more without this shit.”

“Are we going dirty, Mr. Dancy?”

“We are going naked.” He smiled like a five-year-old who had his own candy mountain. Mads grinned as well. Hugh was tipsy, but not drunk. He wasn't really sober either, but he couldn’t care less. “I figured out that rules are overrated.”

“Seems legit.” Mads smiled and Hugh grabbed his chin and kissed him.

They didn't fuck that night. They kissed, they played with each other using tongues, lips, teeth and fingers. It wasn't intrusive. It was tender and funny. And hot as hell. Hugh tried to blow him but failed... giggling. Mads wanted to show him that he knows what to do. He forced Dancy to beg for more and mercy only using his tongue. At that point Hugh's mood changed. He become more focused, and more eager to do the same for Mads; so he tried over and over again until he finally succeeded, driving him into madness.

Afterwards, Hugh just fell asleep, nestled in Mads’ arms. He looked stunning. Shining with happiness and lust. Mads couldn't restrain himself from observing Hugh. He looked at him until he lost track of time, thoughts and place. He closed his eyes with a warm feeling in his chest that everything will be alright.

###

He felt some pain on his face. Someone hit him. He blinked and opened his eyes. Hugh was pale, he was scared, inhaling sharply.

“Fuck! Don't you dare! Don’t you fucking dare die on me.” His hands were shaking.

Mads blinked once again. He was dizzy.

“What... happened?” It wasn't easy to focus. The whole world seemed blurry.

“You just passed out. You lost your consciousness. You didn't respond to anything. We are going to hospital.” Hugh was panicking.

“We are going to sleep,” said Mads.

“You're fucking kidding me. Did you understand what I’ve said?”

Mads composed himself, trying to look confident.

“Listen darling, I have a fever, I'm sick, and you drained me. You took away my sanity, and my semen. That's quite a lot, you know.”

“You scared me.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't intend to. Can you just lay down and hug me? I want to be held, not examined.”

Hugh did it. His arms seemed to be everywhere, holding him firmly. He grabbed Mads' hair and pulled him closer, kissing him.

“I thought you have some heart attack or aneurysm. You were babbling in Danish. A lot actually.”

“What?”

“I don't speak Danish. Not enough at least.”

“Liar.”

“It was something about beasts, murders and death... And then you collapsed.”

“Well, I don't remember a thing. It's pitch black.”

Hugh arms tightened around him.

“Don't you dare die, when I’ve finally discovered how I feel.”

“It would be rude, to say the least,” grinned Mads. Hugh punched him in the shoulder. 

“Dick.”

“I dick you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *  
> 1\. I love you  
> 2\. never  
> 3\. forever


	5. Chapter 5

It was good. Very, very good. For the first few days.

They finished shooting in Toronto. Hugh had some obligations in London, so Mads went there too, because he also had some sessions and auditions he wanted to try. Simple mathematics won – he had only a few meetings to attend and lots of time to fuck Hugh.

Hanne didn't suspect anything. Claire was in US, collecting some awards and shooting her own stuff. Every single second they had, was just for them.

Richard came once with Lee, when they were around, but that’s all. They didn't meet more friends. Everything was too fresh, too obvious right now and they knew that they would fail whilst trying to hide it.

Mads knew that he would start shooting Rouge One soon. Hugh was still looking for something reasonable that would fit him, but he did too many romantic roles before and he seemed to be doomed right now. Mads wished to do something about it, but there wasn't any convenient way to help Hugh to get more attention and not destroy their lives. He saw Hugh become more frustrated as time passed and nothing decent came from his agent. He became moody and snarky, so one day Mads couldn't stand the tension. 

“I'm going back to Copenhagen for some time. I have to spend time with my kids, before I'll come back here to shoot Rouge. I'll be living here for next two - three months after all.”

Hugh looked at him angry.

“You are bored.”

Mads blinked, shocked.

“Are you?” he asked. Hugh shook his head.

“I'm worthless shit. I don't want to be in another romance. I want an action, a challenge. I'm more than capable,” said Dancy. Mads knew that's only one part of this drama.

“Come here, darling,” said Mads and looked him in the eyes. “Stop shitting me about work. I love my son and my daughter. I like to be here, but I miss them, you know.” He hugged Hugh.

“I know. I want to see my son too,” admitted Dancy.

“Why the hell you haven't told me that?”

“I was feeling guilty.”

“Because of leaving me here or abandoning them there?”

“Both.”

“Stupid boy.”

“Don't call me stupid.”

“You have to go there. Otherwise, how can you be with Cyrus? Besides, you can't sit and wait for a miracle. There will be more work opportunities in the US for you. Maybe you'll find something there.”

“You want to be rid of me?”

“I want you to be happy. Remember?”

“That's the point. I don't want to abandon you.”

“How do you think this situation should evolve?“

“I don't know.”

“Liar,” said Mads. Hugh snorted.

“I'm attached,” murmured Englishman finally.

“To me?” asked Mads. Hugh nodded. “Are you in love?”

“I don't know. I think it's too much. I'm getting confused. I don't know what I need or what I feel. I want to be here, but I have to leave. I have to think. I have to hug Cyrus. I can't stand this rending feeling that he is there, asking for daddy and I'm fucking you instead.”

“Ok.”

“That's all?” Hugh was offended. 

“Yeah. What do you want me to say?”

“I thought that you...” He lowered his head and gritted his teeth.

“Hugh, look at me. I want to be here. We have great time, but I won't tell you what to do. I won't convince you that you should stay here with me, ‘cause I know how you feel about your kiddo. I can’t demand you leave your family, ‘cause I don't have any intention to abandon mine. You are important, but hey, they're my blood. And I'm sure you feel the same.”

Mads leaned down to kiss Hugh, but he turned away.

“I can't. I won't kiss you. If I start, I won't be able to stop.”

He escaped, taking care not to touch Mads at all and went to his wardrobe. A half hour later, he stood at the door of living room with his bag in his hand.

“I have a flight in three hours. Stay as long as you want. Take the keys. You are wel... Just take those damned keys. They're yours,” said Hugh.

And he left, not even looking at Mads.

Mads took some time to compose himself. He stayed in London another day, before booking a flight home. Hugh didn't call him, didn't write any messages or emails.

Mads wasn't sure what he supposed to do with himself. There was understanding for Hugh's action, tons of it. But there was also this dull feeling in his stomach. Pain in his chest. Realization that he was dumped. Hugh couldn't even looked him in the eyes...

Mads packed his things. Every single thing. Every single lighter and sock. He cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, not very eager to eat anything, unable to sit in one place and think. Standing in the living room where he was fucking Hugh, being in bathtub where they’ve spend a few evenings, was unbearable. The kitchen was a reminder of their kisses, but the bedroom was the worst. He changed the bed sheets, but couldn't look at those walls. He was about to spend one last night in the guest room.

And that was it. Realization that he was only a guest in Hugh's life.

He took his bag and went to the hotel. He put those damned keys to Hugh's apartment in his bag. He didn't want them. He will send them to Hugh later.

###

**“I'm too sick to fly.”**

He wrote on Thursday to Hanne.

It wasn't a happy bliss. He was tormented as if world was supposed to end. As if this one particular lie could be responsible for the complete disintegration of his life. But maybe that was the point.

He remembered snippets of his own promises. He remembered Hugh's face and the hope in his eyes. He was very aware of his own feelings, when he heard Hugh’s declaration.

So they had spent the next few days in bed. But it wasn't about sex. It was about closeness and an attempt of regaining trust. He wasn't able to believe in Hugh's intentions. He left him once. He can do it again. Mads barely pulled himself together these last few weeks and didn't want to go thru this shit again.

“Did you at least tell Claire why are you here? Or maybe she thinks that you wanted to stay in London for some unexplained reasons?”

“I told you. I'm a liar,” admited Hugh.

“So you didn't explain anything to her. How I'm supposed to trust that you won't do exactly the same thing to me in a week?”

“ ’Cause... Shit.”

Hugh reached for his phone, pushed something on screen and closed his eyes, waiting for response. It was about 8 pm, so around noon in NY.

“Hi... Yes I'm fine... He is fine too... Yes, he did... No... Listen. I don't know. We are not coming back... I'm staying in London, so is Cyrus... I don't want to live there anymore. I can't. ‘Cause...” Mads snatched the phone from Hugh’s hand and terminated the connection. 

“Are you out of your fucking mind?“

“What? You needed a proof? Here is your fucking proof!,” snapped Dancy.

“You are not gonna tell your wife about... Whatever… over the fucking phone!”

Mobile rang with some music Mads had never heard. Claire’s smiling face was on the screen. Hugh lam out into Mads to grab his phone, but Mads set it aside so that Hugh couldn’t reach for it.

“I will tell her, you prick,” hissed Hugh. ”You are not gonna accuse me of lying! I told you I love you and I won't live there. It's fucking too far from Denmark!”

“Hugh?”

That was Claire’s voice on the speaker.

“Fuck.” Mads exhaled sharply, looking with panic at the phone he was still holding.

“Mads?” asked Claire silently.

Mads sworn once again and hung up.

“Shit,” he hissed.

Hugh was looking at him with concern. Mads looked back at Hugh's mobile and put it gently on the pillow.

“Fuck. Now what?” he asked, panicked.

Hugh smiled and turn off his mobile completely. 

“Now, I'm gonna fuck you. And you are gonna like it.”

“I'm asking you...” Hugh put his finger on Mads’ lips to silence him.

“I know what you’re asking about. I don't care!” He leaned and kissed Mads greedily. ”If she didn’t find it as some drunken antics, she will be here in 10-11 hours. But if I’m about to stand to this fight and survive, I need to know that you are in it with me.”

###

Two weeks of silence followed. He didn't call Hugh, neither did Dancy call him. He tried to stay focused on his life in Denmark. Some parties. Some handball matches. Some evenings with friends. 

“Hugh called,” said Hanne when he came back in the evening one day. “You’ve left your phone.” An impulse of fear ran through his loins. _Did she know?_

“What did he want?”

“He got some new role, and obviously wants to brag about it,” he smiled at his wife and exhaled quietly. _She didn't know._

“So I’ve heard, from Bryan. He called me yesterday.”

Mads knew about the new show three days already. Richard told him. He was with Hugh in a pub last Wednesday. Richard was as discreet as a cannon ball. He only left a hint that Dancy was happy about that role. Mads didn't dare to ask about his emotional state. Richard probably wouldn’t know about it anyway. He just didn't care. Richard wasn't very emphatic. For a brief moment Mads thought that he should have fucked Richard, not Hugh... That would be a lot easier.

He pushed the green button. 

“Hello?” The sleepy voice caused sting of pain in his chest.

“Hi, you called.”

“Oh... Mads. Sorry, I was sleeping. Cyrus is sick. He had a fever and vomited all day. I just passed out recently.”

“Try not to catch it.”

“I'll do my best. How are you?”

Mads didn't answered this stupid question.

“Are you alone?,” he asked instead. 

“Claire is making me a soup. She thinks I'll be sick as well,” answered Hugh.

“Take care of yourself. And call me later,” said Mads.

“I will, thank you.”

He hung up. Mads closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. Hugh's voice caused plenty of associations. But Mads‘ only desire right now was to hug this stupid man. 

It was late when his phone started to buzz in his pocket. He took pack of cigarettes and walk out on balcony.

“Yeah?” He answered. It was Hugh.

“Can you talk?” 

“Almost.” Mads closed balcony door, staying outside. “Now, I'm good.”

“You probably know it already, but I've got a job.”

“I know. Dare to tell me what kind?”

“A show.”

“So, are you staying there?”

“For now,” said Hugh. Mads puffed a cig. Hugh cleared his throat. “How are you?”

“Fine,” snapped Mads.

“Mads,” Came the impatient voice from his phone.

“What? You don't want to hear the truth.“

“You're not being fair.”

“It wasn't me who disappeared without a word.”

“I'm sorry,” whispered Hugh.

“I don't want your apologies.”

“What do you want then? It was you who told me I have to go.”

“It's hardly my fault. You didn't call me.”

“You didn't either.”

Mads didn't say a word. He inhaled smoke and closed his eyes.

“I don't want to fight. I wish we could talk face to face. I...” said Hugh.

“You can say it. I can handle it.”

“Dick.”

“Dick you too.”

“I miss you.“

“Very strange way of showing it. Listen, you owe me nothing. It was fun. It wasn't supposed to last forever. You decided what you needed and I don't have a right to dictate you your obligations.”

“Shut up, Mikkelsen. I miss you. I care about you. I want to be there, wherever you are. But you would never abandon them for me. You’ve said that. I wasn't important enough to even consider that thought. So why are you mad at me?”

“Listen, darling, I try to deal with this situation the best I can. I didn't call you, to not disturb you.”

“Fuck me. You can call me whenever you like, whenever you need me.”

“I needed you.”

“And now?”

“I don't know. It hurts.”

“Mads...” There is a silent gasp and gulping from the phone.

“What do you want to hear? I need to forget. And I don't want to forget about you. I need to talk to someone and I don't have anybody, ‘cause it was you I was talking to about my affairs in last twelve years.” Mads knew that he's crying, but he didn't care. “You were my fucking friend.”

“You can tell me everything. I'm here.”

“You ain't.”

“Not in the flesh.”

“Am I supposed to tell you about my dreams, and longing? How? You will think that I'm trying to make you feel guilty. And I don't. I want you to be happy.”

“Well, I'm not anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because I lost something too. Something very important. And I can't stand the thought that I will lose everything.”

“I'm hardly everything.”

“Moron,” snapped Dancy. Mads leaned against the balcony railing. He took another puff, before he was ready to speak again.

“I miss you. Terribly. Miss your voice, our conversations, your wicked sense of humor. I don't care about sex. I miss my friend.”

“So, fancy a beer tomorrow?,” asked Hugh with trembling voice.

“How? I can't go to the US, nor can you come to Denmark.”

“We can use Skype or something similar. We can run the same movie in the background. And drink.”

“I'll buy the beer then.” Mads smiled hesitantly. 

“So it's a date,” said Hugh. Mads frowned, breathless.

“No. Just a beer,” he said quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

Mads was troubled. They’ve spent the last few hours in bed, but he escaped near morning to the guest room. Hugh had to wake up alone, because now he was standing above Mads’ head. Arms crossed on his chest. 

“What are you doing here?,” asked Dancy, frowning.

“I don't want Claire to find us together in bed. You can tell her that you were fucking drunk yesterday. I'll confirm that.”

Hugh snorted and gotten into Mads’ bed.

“Move over.”

“What?”

“Move over, you moron. I won't lie. I'm done with lies. I love you, I want to be with you. I'll learn fuckin’ Danish if I have to. I was out there, without you, for last few weeks and I was never so miserable in my life.”

“What about my life?”

“We will figure this out. I promise. One problem at a time.”

“Are you even going to bother to ask me if I want to stay with you?” asked Mads. Hugh shrugged. 

“You've said that you do. That you love me and you will forever…”

“When I said such a nonsense?”

“On Sunday.” Dancy smiled like a lunatic. “Remember when you asked me what were you babbling?”

“You lied?”

“I lied.” Hugh was smiling widely. “I know that you had a fever and you were terribly tired…,” teased Hugh.

“And I lost conscious moment later...,” Mads reminded him, smiling shyly. 

“Yeah, that too. Anyway, your babbling wasn't about monsters.”

“Dick.”

“But you love me?,” asked Hugh with puppy eyes, blinking seductively.

“Shut up, Dancy.” He grabbed his hair and pulled him closer to kiss. Hugh kissed him gently, before he bit Mads to tease him. Mads stopped the kiss and looked in blue-ish eyes seriously. “You have to talk to her alone. I have to disappear before Claire arrives.”

“That won’t be necessary,” A cold voice pealed out in the room. A blond haired woman was staring at them, arms crossed on her chest. Lips clamped. She looked like she was about to throw up.

“Can you explain what the hell is going on here?!,” asked Claire, walking into the room to face her own husband. She wasn’t even looking at Mads.

“I...” Hugh was about to say something, but he froze instead, looking at the door. Mads followed his gaze and swore, springing up from the bed. 

“Du er skide sjov med mig,”* said an angry voice in Danish. “I didn't fucking see it,” snapped Hanne and left the room. Mads jumped into jeans and put a T-shirt on his back, then went to the living room. Hanne was standing in the kitchen, looking through the window. She looked calm and it wasn’t good sign.

“Hanne...,” he started.

“Not a word. Don't you fucking dare speak to me right now. Grab your gear. We are going home,” she said in Danish, not looking at him.

“Are you out of your mind?!” He heard Claire’s voice and smiled to himself. Every single drop of anxiety left him at this point.

“I'm not going back,” he said. The hazel eyes of his wife looked at him with shock. 

“Excuse me?,” she turned around to face him and blinked.

“I'm not...“

“I heard what you've said,” she snapped. She closed her eyes for a brief second and inhaled sharply. “Are you sure?”

Mads closed his eyes and gasped. 

“Yes.”

“Are you… No... You haven’t...” She looked at him, eyes teary but he knew she wouldn’t humiliate herself with tears right now. She will be crying later.

So will he.

“Listen, call a lawyer. Ask whatever you like. I'll deal with it.”

“What am I supposed to tell our children?”

“The truth.”

“I don't know what’s real anymore. Dancy?,” she asked with a sneer. He decided not to dwell on his choices of lovers right now.

“Leave it to me. I'll deal with kids. Later.”

“Forget it! You want to fuck your Danish knight, do it! But my son won't be part of it!,” screamed Claire. She rushed towards the exit and left the apartment, slamming the door.

Hugh was running right behind her, only in his jeans.

“Hugh! Shoes,” reminded Mads. Dancy snorted, swearing and stepped back to get dressed. Moments later, he was fully clothed, with his mobile and car keys in hand. He looked at Mads with worried features. 

“I'll come back,” he promised. Mads smiled warmly in response.

“Go, fetch Cyrus. I'll be here.” Hugh smiled back and walked out.

Hanne looked at Mads, confused.

“You already took her husband, why are you so eager to deprive her of her child?”

“It's his kid too.”

“And yours?”

“Viola is adult and Carl is smart. I know he'll be angry. I’ll talk with him.”

“So thoughtful of you.”

“Damn it, Hanne. I didn't plan it. Nor had I any wish to hurt you or kids.”

“You just happened to fall in love.”

Mads shrugged. She knew him too well.

“It seems I'm stupid.”

“You will never stop to amaze me. Level of your irresponsibility is...”

“I'm sorry.”

“Will you come back? Is there any possibility that you will change your mind? You can fuck him from time to time, if you like. I will deal with it, like I did earlier.”

“My mind isn't clear, but it won't be fair to let you wait. I don't know where it leads, but I'm staying in London for now. I’ll have to do it anyway, ‘cause of work.”

“I have to go, you know. I won’t send you papers yet. Call me if you change your mind. We survived worse than this.” He knew she was right. He was born to get into trouble. 

“I'll call you in few days. If it won't be a problem?,” he smiled shyly.

“I won't pick up, if it will.”

He took a few steps and hugged her. She froze in his arms and looked him in the eyes. She wasn’t even angry at him.

“Don't. Don’t say you're sorry. Don't say you love me. You wouldn't be here, if that was the truth.” She brushed his cheekbone with her fingers and kissed him gently. He whined hopelessly and stepped back.

There were tears in his eyes and he couldn't hold them any longer. He clenched his jaws.

“Farvel, kære,”* said Hanne and left the apartment.

He gasped, but didn’t move. He couldn't breathe. Again.

There was this beautiful man, and he was completely crazy about him. He wasn't just some ass he wanted to fuck. It wasn’t random. He knew him for 13 years. 

And there was Hanne. He spent half of his life with this woman. She had borne his children. She was there to pick up all the pieces of him, every time he shattered in the past. He was sure, she would do it once again, if he decided to come back. 

He closed his eyes.

He will wait.

He doesn’t have to do it alone.

Hugh will be here with Cyrus and they will figure out everything.

##

“Did you get your invitation?,” asked Mads. They were speaking pretty regularly these days. Flirting was still up and doing, but they didn’t meet since Hugh move out to NY. Mads was almost content with the progress of things between them. Almost.   
He still missed him terribly.

“Yeah,” answered Hugh. 

“Are you going?”

“To the con? Did you lose the rest of your sanity?,” snorted Dancy.

“C'mon. It's in London. I'm still shooting here. It's all to the good. We could meet without any suspicion.”

“We can't. I still want you. Scott will sniff it out instantly. And he would have time of his life mocking us,” said Hugh.

“We could do the same.“

“I won't join,” said Hugh.

“We will have a nice party here. You will regret it,” teased Mads, but he was sure at this point, that it won’t change Dancy’s mind.

“I doubt it.”

“How's your shooting?” Mads changed the topic. He didn’t want to sound desperate.

“We did a pilot. I don't know if there will be more of it.” Hugh wasn’t happy and every single word was a proof of it.

“Then come to Denmark.”

“Why on earth would I want to be there?”

“Well, there is this new project Nic is about to start and we have good beer... And there is this lonely knight in Copenhagen that would like to kiss you every day.” Mads smiled when he said that. Hugh started to laugh. 

“What are you wearing?” asked Hugh with a lascivious voice. 

“Green cargo pants and my black hoodie...” said Mads. ”With big, white “nine” on the front. Why?”

“Can you unzip it?,” teased Dancy.

“Well, I could… If I wasn't in public place right now,” answered Mads with grin on his face. Hugh snorted and started to laugh. “Are you alone? Can you unzip your pants?” asked Mads moment later.

“I could... but I won't do it. That would mean that you've won. And the very thought of it is unbearable,” answered Hugh. 

“You can't be always on top, Mr. Dancy.”

“I hardly remember the time I was,” said Hugh. Mads smiled.

“I can refresh your memories. Just come to see me...”

“Stop teasing me, you bastard.”

“Why?”

“I have to focus, you know. Not to think about your… never mind. I have to go. Take care of yourself, and don’t lose any body parts from light-sabers. That would be an irretrievable lost.”

“Dick.”

“Good day to you too, my knight,” said Dancy and hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *  
> 1\. You’re fucking kidding me.  
> 2\. Bye, dear.


	7. Chapter 7

Time passed by and the silence in empty flat started to overwhelm him. The situation was too similar to a previous one, when he was left alone in this apartment. He tried to believe in Hugh’s words that he would come back, but lack of trust left him with nothing but fear.

Mads curled in a ball in Hugh's bed. He didn't care anymore if Claire would come back and see him there. He hoped that Hugh would come back alone, that their fight won't be dragged here again. Despite this, his mind gave him pictures of Hugh calling him to tell him that he changed his mind. Again. And that would be easier for Mads. He wouldn’t have to decide about anything. 

Mads didn't know what he wanted. Three months ago he would be more that happy with Hugh’s decision, but right now he wasn't sure. Right now there was some emotional drama around them, but he knew perfectly well that it would go very quickly to hell, because of the press. He clenched his jaw, trying to push aside thought about the mess to come. He needed to talk to someone reasonable. He reached for his phone and pushed the right button.

“Ym... Hello?” He heard voice of a stranger.

“Richard?” he asked, puzzled.

“Who's there?”

“I'm sorry, it must be wrong number.”

“Wait!” said voice. “Babe, it's for you... Who is it?... I don’t know. It says “Machine”… Oh. I’ll take that…” He heard quiet discourse.

“Mads?” Richard was surprised. “Sorry, it was Lee. I couldn’t pick up.”

“Hi,” said Mads. “Can you talk?”

“Sure. What's up?”

“I need to ask you something, and I would be extremely grateful if you don't laugh.”

“Hit me.”

“How do you manage to hide your... relationship?” He asked.

Richard started to laugh. 

“What have you done?”

“I fucked up,” admitted Mads.

“Yeah. I’ve deduced it by myself. You never called me before.”

“So, can you help me?” asked Mads.

“Just don't make it public. Avoid any press, avoid physical contact in public, or being together in public at all. Don't make any interviews together. You're not that calm to hide it even if you think you are. Neither is Hugh. And stay away from shopping together, even if it’s only a beer in your local market. That should work for a while.”

“But?”

“Fans. They will know sooner or later.”

“Oh, they're already convinced that we are fucking.”

“So, what's the problem?”

“Why are you thinking there is one?“

“I didn't tell you anything you didn't know already. I assume that publicity and gossips aren't your biggest problems right now.”

“Don't get me wrong. I'm not a hypocrite. I'm just not ready to be called a puff.”

“But you're one,” Richard said calmly.

“I'm not. I'm open minded,” said Mads.

“You're stupid.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, I was on this ship as well,” said Richard.

“And?”

“And what? Does it make any change how they call you? What they think?”

“At some level.”

“But it doesn't change your ability to do your work. It doesn't matter who you sleep with.”

“It never did.”

“So, is it about Hugh?”

“I think he isn't any more ready than I am.“

“I'm not an expert, but don't underestimate this bloke. He maybe look like little puppy but he hardly is one.”

“Did he say something to you?”

“Mads. It's not my place to stick my nose into your business. But he wasn't a happy person for last few weeks. If he showed up on your porch with flowers, he had to think about it. A lot.”

Mads went silent. 

“Look, don't listen to me. I'm with Lee much longer and we still didn't figure out how to deal with it. You’ll manage. It isn't about right and wrong. If you're happy right now, it's all you need to know.”

“Thanks.” Mads wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. If anything. “I will be going.”

“Say 'hello' from me to your little puppy,” said Richard, smiling.

“Fuck you.”

“Knight in shining armor indeed,” sneered Richard. “Take care of yourself and let us know, if you two will be near Manhattan.”

“I will, thanks.”

Mads sighed, horribly tired though it wasn’t even noon yet. He closed his eyes, refusing to think about this fucked up situation. He knew what he felt. Fear; an overwhelming need to be close to this stupid, little man; and stupor. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to. But he didn’t want. 

He will lie here, until Hugh comes back.

And if he won’t, Mads will just die here, causing as much trouble as he can.

##

 

“Shhh, come on Cyrus, don’t wake up Mads.”

He heard in the midst of dense fog.

The patter of small feet reached into his consciousness and he growled. Some sticky little hand tapped his arm.

“Sleeper,” said squeaky voice, and sticky hand tapped him again. “Wake up. Cyrus wants to play.” Something hard hit him in the head. 

Mads didn’t opened his eyes. Instead, he grabbed little intruder and began to tickle him. Joyful laughter filled the room.

“Faker! See daddy? Mass’ not sleep.”

“Not anymore anyway,” answered Mads and looked at Hugh. Dancy was smiling warmly. “What time is it?,” asked Mads.

“Near dusk. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Mads looked at Cyrus, worried.

“Have you eaten something?”

“He has,” answered Hugh.

Mads got up and took his sweatshirt in one hand and lifted Cyrus with his other.

“Do you want pizza, Cyrus?,” he asked. The kid stuck out his tongue and shook his head, wincing. “Maybe an ice cream then?” A pleased shriek deafened Mads and little hands surrounded his neck. “Then go, fetch your shoes.” 

Cyrus ran to his room, happy. Mads took two steps to face Hugh. He looked tired. His eyes were green, like always when he was sad. Mads couldn’t wait any longer. He grabbed Hugh and kissed him almost violently. Warm hands were in split second on his cheekbones.

“You stayed,” whispered Hugh.

“I will,” promised Mads. Hugh snuggled into him and Mads surrounded him with his arms, kissing his hair.

“Come on, let’s feed you. You need to be strong. It’s enough that I’m sick. Who will take care of this little brat if you catch it too.”

Hugh smiled and took Mads hand in his.

“I’m gonna introduce you to some rules. You can’t bribe Cyrus with sweets every time you want to be alone with me.” Mads smiled widely, hearing this accusation.

“You can try. Tomorrow. Today he can have as many sweets as he can eat.”


	8. Epilogue.

“I'm not going with you in one car,” announced Dancy. Mads blinked, shocked. 

“Can I ask why?”

“They will talk.”

“And?” Mads raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you so eager to humiliate me even before this whole craziness begins?,” asked Hugh. He was about to start panicking because of the convention that was about to start in two hours. He doesn’t want to attend from the beginning. Mads talked him into this last year. Now his anxiety about it was about to explode directly in his face.

“You know what? Do whatever you like. I'm going to walk out from this apartment and it's up to you what you want to do. If it's okay for you to fuck me whole year, but suddenly too much to go with me to a convention in one car, than I don't know anymore what we are. Just... Fuck you.”

Mads grabbed pack of cigarettes from the kitchen counter and before Hugh had time to react, he left.

“Shit,” swore Hugh and grabbed his car keys. He knew that it's an idiotic idea to go there on his own, but he won't take a taxi to chase Mads. That would be even more stupid. He grabbed his phone and pushed fast dial button. He heard this idiotic music Mads had attached to his contact and swore again. Mikkelsen had forgotten his mobile. Hugh turn back to grab Mads' phone and then he rushed to the parking lot. The limousine was gone. “Fuck!”

Hugh knew, Mads overreacted, but he hadn't had any intention of pissing him off. They were able to maintain a low profile since last October. His divorce went smoothly and surprisingly quiet. Claire got the custody, but she agreed to let him be a father to Cyrus, finally, so he got him every time she was shooting. Now he was in the US, but in two weeks Hugh will have his son, for almost three months. And that would include Christmas. He was super excited about it. Last year were very difficult with Mads being in Denmark with kids, and Cyrus with Claire in Manhattan. Hugh was left alone, if you do not count a few calls from Mads, but that hardly was enough for him. Sitting in the middle of the night in his parents living room with a glass of wine in his hand, he promised himself that this year would be different. He won't screw this up, even if he had to apologize to this stubborn moron.

Traffic wasn’t that bad. If he managed to skip the city center, he can be at this bloody hotel before Mads. Hugh was sure that Mads would force the driver to stop to buy more cigarettes. One pack in his pocket was never enough.

When he arrived, parking was almost full. He spotted one good place in the back of the parking lot. It was the right time to think about what he was about to do, but his mind was blank. He felt nausea, and his heart was pumping blood out at a break neck speed. He took few breaths and then looked at the entrance door. There were few people, smoking, but no orange jacket. He looked for familiar faces and felt slightly better when he spotted them. Scott was speaking to some blond-haired woman and Aaron. 

A few girls were standing near them, not really interested in their presence. Or maybe just giving them space. That was nice. It gave Hugh some hope. Maybe it isn't that bad here after all. He took another deep breath and walked away from the car. He approached immediately toward colleagues and smiled shyly.

“Well, well, well, look who got here all by himself.” Scott smiled and shook his hand.

“Is Mads here?,” asked Hugh immediately. Aaron snorted in response.

“Nice to see you too.” Hugh gave him warning look. “Do you think that it would be that calm if he was here?”

“Yes?” Hugh smiled sheepishly.

“Oh well, maybe yes,” smiled Scott. “But shouldn't you be here together?”

Hugh wasn't even surprised that he knew. Richard knew, so the rest of the crew couldn't dodge this information. Hugh looked at Aaron, uncertain about his reaction to it, but he was busy checking something on his phone. Buzzing in his pocket gave Hugh sharp sign that Mads got a message. Hugh was really curious what it was, but he restrained himself from checking his phone. He wasn't very eager to piss him off more than he already had.

Hugh took a cig from the pack he took for Mads and set it alight. He inhaled slowly, trying to calm down. Silence which appeared behind him, made him froze.

“They are staring, aren't they?” He looked at Scott. Thompson smiled widely.

“Oh yes, they are.”

“But won't come here?”

“Naah, they’re waiting for Mads as well,” mocked Aaron.

“Shut up.”

“Ruuude, Mr. Dancy.” Aaron was smirking and Hugh gulped.

“What did you do, honey?” asked Scott.

“Nothing.”

Scott whistled under his breath and looked at Aaron.

“Oh, he screwed up something really badly. I can feel it.”

“Will you shut up? I shouldn't be here. I knew that this was bad idea since the beginning,” murmured Hugh and inhaled nicotine again.

“Aaron, we have to change our schedule for tomorrow,” said Scott with an almost sincere face. “This one here won't stand our jokes, and will humiliate himself terribly. Chill out, boy. There is nothing that two beers can't fix, if it comes to Mikky.”

Hugh was supposed to say to Scott that Mads really didn’t like to be called like Micky Mouse, but at that precise moment, a black limousine drove up to the hotel and Hugh forgot what he was about to say.

Mads got out, gave a friendly wave and directed his steps inside the building.

“Oh, baby better go catch him. He didn’t even look at you,” said Scott and gave Hugh one encouraging pat on the shoulder. Hugh watched as Mads went to reception, hugged some blond guy and smiled to some girls in flower crowns. Bryan showed up out of nowhere and approached them immediately. He was hugged as well by Mads. Scott and Aaron walked into the building and he followed them thoughtlessly. The blond guy gave him a firm handshake and smiled, introducing some lady who was supposed to be Hugh’s assistant. He introduced himself and went to say “hello” to Bryan. Mads, of course, disappeared somewhere and Hugh was nervous. His only thought in this moment was to explain something to him. Anything, really. Just to force any contact with this prick.

“How was your flight?,” he asked Bryan politely. Fuller started talking something about strange coincidences in the air and during his route from the airport to the hotel. Then he talked about a party that happened yesterday in this very hotel. Hugh stopped listening him at this point. He was to worried to focus.

A few moments later they were dragged to some kind of little backstage. They were supposed to go to fans from there. Mads, of course, wasn’t around. Hugh wanted a drink. Badly. But car keys in his pocket were a very inconvenient reminder that he can't drink. At least not as much as he wanted.

Half an hour later, everything had started. He was about to go on stage when Mads showed up finally. Hugh looked at Mads with question in his eyes, but the only answer he got was his annoyed gaze.

“Stop it, please,” he whispered, but screams and applause in the audience went crazy at this point. Hugh wasn't even sure if he heard him. Mads jumped quickly to the stage, smiling to the fans. They went absolutely crazy and Hugh gulped, not knowing what to expect. Then it was his turn. Some incoherent babbling and screams. Squeaks. Whistles. He sworn under his breath and stuck the most charming smile on his face that he could afford at the moment, going on stage. 

800 people wearing flowers clapped and squealed when he showed up. 

He wasn't sure if he should say something, but the mike was nowhere near, so he calmed down a little bit. He looked at Mads and smiled, blinking seductively and made his famous “puppy eyes”. Mads smiled in a very Hannibalistic way, and the whole room went absolutely crazy again. He stood next to Mads, careful to not touch him by accident. 

Bryan was left for the grand finale as the special guest. The blond guy was saying something about his work and his genius, Dead like me, American Gods and of course, Hannibal. As a conclusion, he said only:

“And the very god himself... Bryan Fuller!”

If girls in the room where crazy when he got on stage, right now it changed into bloody madness. Every single person in the room was standing and singing this bloody song from the end of series, so when Bryan got on stage he was a mess - crying and smiling at the same time... 

“Now I'm officially jealous. They managed only “Bitch better have my money” on the dance floor last year, when I wasn’t even around,“ snarled Mads under his breath. Hugh snorted.

“Idiot.” He looked at Mads, amused. Mads was looking directly at him, his pupils dilated.

“Hugh.” He smiled warmly.

“Yes?” Hugh made a puppy eyes again.

“You're holding my hand,” said Mads.

“Well, then I do. Tell me why I shouldn't hold the hand of the guy I love?” asked Hugh with really horrible timing, because there was silence around them. Silence that acted like a living creature. Spreading her wings through whole room. Sucking them into black spinning hole. Hugh was paralyzed. He wasn't able to look nowhere, but in Mads' eyes. It was Mikkelsen who saved the day... or maybe made it worse...

“So now you know.” He smiled nastily. “It was Hugh all the time. The fictions. Changes in scripts... And the kiss,” he said the last sentence smiling widely, and then he grabbed Hugh’s face in his palms and kissed him. Hugh was more than aware that his whole life depended on this situation, but he realized that he already made this choice. He made it a year ago. He grabbed Mads shoulders, like he did in last scene of this bloody show and kissed him back.

He heard squeaks and another incoherent sounds from the public. He heard applause and some annoying comment from Scott's mouth that he will take revenge for later. Suddenly everything he was worried about ceased to be relevant. He didn't care about anything, but this stunning creature he was kissing. He closed his eyes and forgot himself completely in this jackass’ arms.

When he opened his eyes, he was still standing on stage, wrapped in Mads’ arms. He turned towards the crowd and smiled.

“You can't blame me for this.” He shrugged and made one step forward. He pointed at Mads and blinked. “Just look at him. Who in this room doesn’t want to be in my shoes?”

Some laughter from audience, applause and then the whole crew approached to hug them.

“I'm gonna kill you both... And it's gonna be as slow and messy as possible,” said Bryan quietly, smiling.

“How slow?” asked Mads insolently, poking out his tongue at Bryan.

“For at least three additional seasons...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... For artistic reasons it should be angst. It should end up in some abandoned corner with dark emotions and tears... but I needed a fluff. That's why I went towards happy endings, and almost suffocated myself from the excess of it. I promise it won't happen again. :P
> 
> Thank you for reading :) 


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